Let's talk about creating Sacred Space.

Not "sacred" in an esoteric or religious sense, but sacred in the tangible sense of transforming our everyday world into a safe, intimate, and magical environment in which we can act, interact, and communicate with intention, awareness, and wellbeing.

When we create Sacred Space – in our home, workspace, wherever – we manifest the conditions for closeness, honesty, and respect. We free ourselves to feel safe and trust each other. To move beyond resistances, fears, wounding, or other difficulties that may be in the way of a deeper connection.

If we practice the art of creating Sacred Space as a regular part of our everyday lives, we introduce a powerful and transformative ritual for opening to the potential of any interaction – discussing relationship issues, beginning a difficult conversation, doing business, honoring each other, being playful. A way of being with whatever arises.


Tips for Creating Sacred Space with a Partner

Set aside an hour and commit to spending that time together co-creating Sacred Space. Essentially, your intention is to manifest a special environment that will awaken your senses, reflect your desires for a meaningful experience, and inspire you to be in that space more fully connected to yourself and each other.

As you prepare the physical space, do everything consciously and with attention to detail. Be creative, playful, and allow for spontaneity. Choose items that have special meaning and/or symbolize connection, relationship, intimacy, friendship, love, etc. Consider each of the senses when designing your space – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. For example, use candles, flowers, objects with symbolic meaning, special food or drink, and other items pleasing to the senses.

Once you have created your space, it's important to focus your attention and intention on the time you will spend together (i.e., no interruptions, turn off your phones, etc.). Here are some ideas for facilitating this intention. As you enter the space together:

  1. Talk about any unwanted qualities that you don't want to be part of this time (e.g., judgment, impatience, defensiveness, etc.). Take turns naming these negative energies, ritually casting them out of your space.
  2. Talk about and name desirable qualities that you want to bring into this time (e.g., understanding, compassion, humor, etc.). Take turns invoking these positive energies into your space.
  3. When you're both ready, enter your space together and sit facing each other. Take your time appreciating and honoring each other. Notice how it feels when you are doing the honoring, and when you are being honored.
  4. Each share your intentions for what you want to transpire during this time together. Name any fears or resistances that you may be feeling. And talk about what you need to make this time work for you, as well as any boundaries or agreements you'd like to create. When your partner is sharing, listen without interruption, with an open mind and grateful heart.

As you sit together in Sacred Space, visualize that you have created a supportive space in which you can now go wherever you want, openly sharing interests, desires, and a deeper level of truth. You are creating the freedom and safety to become more transparent with each other – to acknowledge each other, what you feel, how you think and, perhaps most importantly, how you can become more deeply available to each other.


Marilynne Chöphel MFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has offered depth psychotherapy since 1990 and specializes in the treatment of trauma with mindfulness, somatic awareness, and compassionate presence. She is a Certified Advanced Practitioner of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy for treatment of acute and developmental trauma, and has assisted their trainings for several years. She brings to her work a foundation in mindfulness meditation and yoga, both of which she taught for more than twenty-five years, as well as relationship workshops. She is co-author of Unfinished Conversation: Healing from Suicide and Loss – A Guided Journey.
Visit her websites at www.dharmaspirit.com and www.unfinishedconversation.com.